Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Elementary School Gunk Face

It's official; I have the dreaded Elementary School Gunk Face that has been going around my daughter's school. I will spare you the intricate details of the condition, other than saying it feels like I've been hit in the head several times by a rabid monkey wielding a plumber's wrench and a sack of wet flour.

I got another cup of tea and swigged down a couple more Advil. There's no point in going to the doctor and sitting in a room filled with even sicker people. What's the doctor going to do anyway? Now that I'm thinking about it, what do doctors actually do? Can't we just replace them with WebMD? - I kid.

Of course I did check my symptoms on WebMD - just in case it was some kind of exotic tropical disease. I did see the movie Contagion. It seems this particular bug is very common. Viruses are like bad apartment tenants. They come in to your head, invite all their friends for a huge party, thrash the place - knock holes in the wall, pee in the kitchen sink, stain the carpet and then leave in the middle of the night.

Well, I think it's off to bed for another hour or so. I will post another update if my condition changes, but I wouldn't worry - I think the mighty EiMB empire is secure for now.

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