Motivating Cats

Okay, I'm driving my daughter to school and this enormously fat, grey cat bounds across the street, in front of my bumper and then to the sidewalk on the other side. Of course I immediately stop and the cat is fine. But when I start up again the cat starts running beside me. If I slow down the cat slows down; If I speed up the cat speeds up ... So, I stop and the cat stops - just sitting there.

I need to be clear, the cat is on the sidewalk - at least two meters to the side and about four meters in front of my car. I am in no way chasing the cat. But I gotta get my kid to school - so I'm like screw it and speed the car up to about 15 mph and the cat takes off in front. And I figure the cat needs exercise and I need to get to get going; so it's kind of win / win right?

We (the cat and I) get to an intersection and I think the cat is going to take a hard right and go up the other street - nope - the cat crosses the street and continues running. ... block and block after block. For about 3/4 of a mile.

Let me stress that I am NOT chasing the cat .. I was kind of motivating the cat .. sorta .. did I mention the cat was really fat. So slowly the cat is losing ground to the car until finally it just stops - okay collapses on the sidewalk.

I'm not telling you this as some sort of confession. I don't feel guilty (okay I feel a little guilty and a bit shameful) .. I am telling you this because if for some reason in the middle of the night, if I am attacked by some mysterious creature and all the authorities find of me is bloody scraps .. y'all know who the real culprit is ..