I'm driving my daughter to school and this enormously fat, grey cat
bounds across the street, in front of my bumper and then to the sidewalk
on the other side. Of course I immediately stop and the cat is fine.
But when I start up again the cat starts running beside me. If I slow
down the cat slows down; If I speed up the cat speeds up ... So, I stop
and the cat stops - just sitting there.
need to be clear, the cat is on the sidewalk - at least two meters to
the side and about four meters in front of my car. I am in no way
chasing the cat. But I gotta get my kid to school - so I'm like screw it
and speed the car up to about 15 mph and the cat takes off in front.
And I figure the cat needs exercise and I need to get to get going; so
it's kind of win / win right?
We (the cat and I) get to an
intersection and I think the cat is going to take a hard right and go up
the other street - nope - the cat crosses the street and continues
running. ... block and block after block. For about 3/4 of a mile.
Let me stress that I am NOT chasing the cat .. I was kind of motivating
the cat .. sorta .. did I mention the cat was really fat. So slowly the
cat is losing ground to the car until finally it just stops - okay
collapses on the sidewalk.
I'm not telling you this as some
sort of confession. I don't feel guilty (okay I feel a little guilty and
a bit shameful) .. I am telling you this because if for some reason in
the middle of the night, if I am attacked by some mysterious creature
and all the authorities find of me is bloody scraps .. y'all know who
the real culprit is ..