Nevada Day

October 31st is Nevada Day - Halloween to everyone else. I'm a third generation Nevadan on both sides - my parents met at Las Vegas High School. So, in honor of Nevada Day .. I present our state song ..



Alternate Nevada Songs

Safety First

I'm on my way to making a full recovery - I think. So, I am preparing all the necessary equipment to pick my daughter up from school. You can never be too careful with the dreaded Elementary School Gunk Face.

Time to suit up and move out!

Elementary School Gunk Face

It's official; I have the dreaded Elementary School Gunk Face that has been going around my daughter's school. I will spare you the intricate details of the condition, other than saying it feels like I've been hit in the head several times by a rabid monkey wielding a plumber's wrench and a sack of wet flour.

I got another cup of tea and swigged down a couple more Advil. There's no point in going to the doctor and sitting in a room filled with even sicker people. What's the doctor going to do anyway? Now that I'm thinking about it, what do doctors actually do? Can't we just replace them with WebMD? - I kid.

Of course I did check my symptoms on WebMD - just in case it was some kind of exotic tropical disease. I did see the movie Contagion. It seems this particular bug is very common. Viruses are like bad apartment tenants. They come in to your head, invite all their friends for a huge party, thrash the place - knock holes in the wall, pee in the kitchen sink, stain the carpet and then leave in the middle of the night.

Well, I think it's off to bed for another hour or so. I will post another update if my condition changes, but I wouldn't worry - I think the mighty EiMB empire is secure for now.

I'm Pre-sick

I think I caught something from my daughter. I'm not sick; I'm pre-sick. You know that feeling you get right before you become sick.

Your head is kind of swimming and you feel sorta hot all over. It's not actually a bad feeling, kind of euphoric in a way - like being pre-drunk.

However, I've experienced this condition many times before, I know what's in store for me.

If I were on a road trip with my friends, this would be the time that I clapped them on the shoulder and told them goodnight. It wouldn't matter how much they begged or complained. Then I would head on over to the gift shop and purchase that fifteen dollar, one dose bottle of NyQuil. Head on up to my room - take a big swig, turn off the clock and go into a semi-coma for the next eighteen hours.

At my current age and physical condition I don't drink NyQuil or it's older cure-all, a shot of whiskey - so instead I've settled for a nice cup of tea and of couple of Advil.

I drew a nice picture of how I feel - this is me in my pajamas and my well-worn, comforting Star Wars t-shirt. I shall see you all after I am over Elementary School Gunk Face.

Copyright 2011 Cram / Kmuzu

I See You Larry

I see you Larry

It's a joke I like to pull on the next guest staying in my hotel room. I write this on the mirror right after I've taken a shower. I know the chances the next guest will be named Larry are slim, but on the off chance it is - Larry will step out of the shower and see a disturbing message waiting for him.

This was taken at the Ramada Inn in Tonopah, Nevada.

Air Hockey Rules

Instead of Foto Friday, I present this ..

About twice a month my daughter and I go to our favorite arcade, The Pinball Hall of Fame and play air hockey. If you could make any video game real, air hockey is it. This following graphic was not created by me.

I Saw This Book

I saw this book, Knitting With Dog Hair: Better A Sweater From A Dog You Know and Love Than From A Sheep You'll Never Meet as I was strolling through Amazon the other day. It's basically a guide on how to "harvest" the hair on your dog to make yarn for clothing you wear.

Amazon description: Learn to recycle Rover into beautiful garments and accessories as the authors teach you this wacky new spin on an old craft. Knitting with Dog Hair is the definitive guide to putting on the dog!

I don't know why but the thought of wearing a beagle sweater or a collie beret just creeps me out.

Talk Like a Pirate Day

Ahoy! Today is the official, "Talk Like a Pirate" day - Argh me maties. So, in honor of such a fine occasion, I present several horrible pirate jokes.

Q. How long is a pirate's plank?
A. A YaRRRD

Q. What does a Jewish Pirate say?
A. Ahoy Vey

Q. What's a pirate's favorite food?
A. ARRRRtichokes.

Q. Who's the pirate's favorite actress?
A. Diane Cannon.

Q. What does a pirate put on toast?
A. Jelly Roger.

Q. How much did the pirate's ear-rings cost?
A. A-buck-an-ear

And me favorite pirate joke of all time -

So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. Confused, the bartender asks "Hey bud, why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"

"I don't know" the pirate says, "but it's driving me nuts!"

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day - ya scurvy dogs ..

Official Site - Talk Like a Pirate Day

Netflix Price Increase Causes Bigger Subscriber Loss Than Expected

In psychology it's called transferen­ce - This is where someone does something to you that makes you angry and hurt and then you go out in the backyard and kick the dog. Instead of sending out a nasty little letter stating that in effect Netflix was doubling the price, they should have stepped back and carefully constructe­d a plan that explained what the media companies were doing to them and why they needed to raise prices.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Foto Friday - Late

Another Foto Friday - It's really early Saturday, but who's counting.

I don't own the copyright nor am I the originator of any of the above photo's and art.

Artist Andreas Englund - Not So Super

I came across the superhero paintings of Artist Andreas Englund on Empty Kingdom. According to his bio Englund was born in Falun, Sweden in 1974 and currently works in Stockholm.

What I like about his work is there is a sense of loneliness and apathy. He's been doing essentially the same thing for so long he just doesn't care.

Artists Patge - Artofdala

Boss flew off the handle about his religion today

Found this on Reddit and thought it was sort of amusing.

During an emergency meeting, he sweeps in with the CFO, both of them casually late as usual. At least this time they had an excuse - they just met with the CEO, who finally stopped worrying about the PR and asked some problematic VPs to resign, which will clear a lot of red tape for us later. We try to bring both of them up to speed on the discussion. We just suffered an attack that compromised important proprietary data. Rolling out any changes to our recent implementation of the relevant systems would require delays we can't afford, so we're talking about increased defenses just to cover our butts from exploits. Rule of law won't be enough if the upstarts nipping at our heels pay some kids to hit a vulnerability.

My boss won't have any of it, though - he thinks we can contain the information. As if nobody's made copies yet! All the technical people shift about uncomfortably, and I try to make the best of it by saying we're probably fine regardless. Everything goes online ASAP and we can ruin the other guys once it's all running smoothly.

He then declares that all our infrastructure is window-dressing compared to the innate protection of his faith. We would be fine not because of all the employees and contractors running the show, but thanks to some mystical seance bullshit that he looks to for guidance and references entirely too often in private conversation. I don't even think it's an organized religion - just vague pagan nonsense with creepy voodoo overtones, like he's the last devotee of a cult from the 70s. I must've been sleep-deprived, because I don't even hesitate to call that a bunch of crap. Ass Hat choked me from across the room.

Original Link - Reddit: My Boss

Don't get it - think Star Wars