Complete Las Vegas Strip

Decided to drive the entire  Las Vegas Strip from Las Vegas Strip from the M hotel & casino to Fremont Street.using my GoPro HD HERO2: Motorsports Edition.

The Phantom Crapper - Part One - ScribeSlice

 This is part one ..

The Phantom Crapper - Part One - ScribeSlice

This is a true Las Vegas story. In the summer of 1982, I was a lifeguard for the Riviera Hotel & Casino and a public pool called Cragen, which was next to Hyde Park Junior High School, near Valley View and Charleston. The Riviera gig was pretty awesome. I met rock stars like Steve Perry and Andy Gibb and made more money in tips in one summer than my mother made all year as an elementary school teacher. The public pool gig was not as much fun or glamorous.  How do I put this? Large groups of children are loathsome, disgusting creatures that smell like rusted pennies.

At the city pool, Tuesday was Daycare Day. This is where convoys of short buses filled to the roof with screaming children pull up to the gate entrance and like a garbage truck dump them into the murky, chlorinated waters of the shallow end. The pool was writhing with twisting, squirming, thrashing bodies. It looked like throngs of eels mating on the National Geographic Channel. 

You can read the whole story for free - just click here --->  The Phantom Crapper - Part One - ScribeSlice

Part II should be ready in a couple of days ...

Motivating Cats

Okay, I'm driving my daughter to school and this enormously fat, grey cat bounds across the street, in front of my bumper and then to the sidewalk on the other side. Of course I immediately stop and the cat is fine. But when I start up again the cat starts running beside me. If I slow down the cat slows down; If I speed up the cat speeds up ... So, I stop and the cat stops - just sitting there.

I need to be clear, the cat is on the sidewalk - at least two meters to the side and about four meters in front of my car. I am in no way chasing the cat. But I gotta get my kid to school - so I'm like screw it and speed the car up to about 15 mph and the cat takes off in front. And I figure the cat needs exercise and I need to get to get going; so it's kind of win / win right?

We (the cat and I) get to an intersection and I think the cat is going to take a hard right and go up the other street - nope - the cat crosses the street and continues running. ... block and block after block. For about 3/4 of a mile.

Let me stress that I am NOT chasing the cat .. I was kind of motivating the cat .. sorta .. did I mention the cat was really fat. So slowly the cat is losing ground to the car until finally it just stops - okay collapses on the sidewalk.

I'm not telling you this as some sort of confession. I don't feel guilty (okay I feel a little guilty and a bit shameful) .. I am telling you this because if for some reason in the middle of the night, if I am attacked by some mysterious creature and all the authorities find of me is bloody scraps .. y'all know who the real culprit is ..

Last Saturday I watched my daughter roll some bowling balls at Cosmic Bowling. I ate some pizza and had a couple of diet Cokes. That night I dreamed I was flying through space and time, seeding the universe with stars. Which now makes me wonder what exactly was in that pizza?

Halloween Costume

I am designing my Halloween costume. Can anyone guess who I am going as?

Nevada Day

October 31st is Nevada Day - Halloween to everyone else. I'm a third generation Nevadan on both sides - my parents met at Las Vegas High School. So, in honor of Nevada Day .. I present our state song ..



Alternate Nevada Songs

I See You Larry

I see you Larry

It's a joke I like to pull on the next guest staying in my hotel room. I write this on the mirror right after I've taken a shower. I know the chances the next guest will be named Larry are slim, but on the off chance it is - Larry will step out of the shower and see a disturbing message waiting for him.

This was taken at the Ramada Inn in Tonopah, Nevada.

Things I Hate

 - I hate that over-dramatized sound of beer being poured into a glass in those commercials during football games.

- I hate the word "Gianormous". It's either Giant or Enormous.

- I hate it when some lady argues over a 35 cent coupon in the speed checkout line.

- I hate gymnasts who park in the handicap space.

- I hate when people use "loan" as a verb - like - "Loan me the money." It's "lend" you fool.

- I hate taking a poop in a toilet with no water - a dry toilet bomb.

- I hate people who "wingman" me for six miles on the freeway.

- I hate that there's no warning label of extreme flatulence on Fiber One cereal boxes.

- I hate that one McFish sandwich in the refiderator will make everything smell like McFish.

- I hate when a person I've seen a few times and clearly recognizes me, pretends they don't.

- I hate people who think that all my problems stem because I don't pray.

- I hate when men use the base of a cold beer bottle to cool their testicles, thus giving the impression the bottle is now their penis.

- I hate that people think Call of Duty is a game.

- I hate people who protest the destruction of our environment with one hand clenched in a fist and the other holding a mocha latte from Starbucks.

- I hate that people think the The Star-Spangled Banner is from the Revolutionary War.

- I hate that my toenails grow in weird directions.

- I hate that I have primitive feet.

- I hate kilts at weddings. I mean you're not all that ..

- I hate when my whole leg goes completely numb because I've been playing Zombie Gunship on the toilet too long. Then when I stand up, I immediately fall into the sink, dropping my iPhone into the toilet.

- I hate when men make a football reference when they're feeling uncomfortable about the masculinity of their environment.

- I hate being told, "Don't talk to me" while doing improv.

- I hate when a crazy person comes up to me on the street, pretends his hand is a gun and shoots me.

- I hate when people don't know the difference between "oral" and "verbal".

- I hate touching someone else's keyboard or mouse.

- I hate using a friend's bathroom and there's a dirty magazine on the floor.

- I hate when my father needs help on the computer.

- I hate Twilight.

- I hate that everyone thinks that Harry Potter is all that and don't realize it's just a derivation of "The Once and Future King", which is a vastly superior book.

- I hate people who jog in Las Vegas when it's a 110 degrees.

- I hate when an eighteen-year-old Mormon Missionary tries to tell me the meaning of life. Really .. and he's from some small town in Idaho.

- I hate poor people who think that one day they'll be rich.

- I hate rich people who never were poor.

- I hate when telemarketing companies use "ACCEPTCALL" as their caller ID.

- I hate people who blast a wet, uncovered sneeze in the air while walking directly in front of you.

- I hate when women put their open hand on their chest when they hear something nauseatingly sentimental.

- I hate people who smell their food.

- I hate people who think paintball is like real war.

- I hate the Pain Scale Faces.

- I hate undiagnosed rashes or lumps

- I hate the prefix - UBER

- I hate the smell of a stainless steel bowl after you scrubbed it clean.

- I hate the smell of small children after they've been running around the playground all day. They smell like rusted pennies.

- I hate that I'm slowly going bald. I wish my skull would make up it's mind.

- I hate when something awful gets stuck under my fingernail.

- I hate when I forget someone's name and I end up calling them dude or guy, cause I am too embarrassed to ask.

- I hate when people try to explain their painting or picture to me. "Step back Chief and let me take a look without your biased bullshit."

- I hate that people think that Ruth Chris Steak House is fine dining.

- I hate that waiters always push alcohol with every meal. Like getting drunk is going to mask the awfulness of this crap shack.

I hate MS

Copyright 2011 Cram / Kmuzu - All rights reserved.

The King

Elvis Presley

January 8, 1935 – August 16, 1977

Las Vegas was never the same after you left the house.

This video was taken on July 4, 2001 just outside of the Red Rock Hotel & Casino parking lot. It is the fireworks show that Stations Casino does every year. I used my Canon EOS Rebel T2i



Copyright 2011 - Cram/Kmuzu. All rights reserved

Pinball Hall of Fame

In Las Vegas, no too far from the Strip, there's a wonderful place for those who love classic arcade and pinball games called, Las Vegas Pinball Hall of Fame. It's on Tropicana right across from the ruins of the Liberace Museum. And just down the street from a great English pub, The Crown and Anchor (serve great, traditional fish & chips).

I took my daughter here a couple of days ago, along with my new Canon T2i and took some pictures. So enjoy stepping back into the 80's arcade.

Click on picture to enlarge.

The Hall of Fame has pinball from all eras (50's -today)

Tons of classic pinball machines.

Many of the machines have notes and QR codes

Double-fisted Star Trek.

 The Pinball Hall of Fame also has tons of old 70's and 80's arcade games and what I love about them is that they are the originals not the replicas that you seen at Ruby Tuesdays.

Spy Hunter is my favorite classic arcade game.

The Tron joystick brings back memories.

Because the graphics were horrible, the game depended on glass design to portray the actual story of the game. When a spy car is really just a 16 X 16 pixel white block with a couple of red pixels for headlights, it's hard to imagine you're the new James Bond. That's why the glass had to be exciting and thrilling.

If you grew up in the 80's this vector Star Trek game was the shit. It did not get any better than this game - Red Barron, Tail Gunner and BattleZone came close. I have so many fond memories of this game.

Strange crack the safe game

A claw game you can actually win

Old fashioned baseball game

There are also quite of few traditional, mechanical penny arcade games as well.

And last but not least they have a Star Wars pinball game with the original "Death Star" lever to release the ball.

Love the graphic here .. I wonder if this came with the original package.

If you're in Vegas, you got to give this place a try. It's a lot of fun.

Here is a picture of Tim the owner. He's always there at the back. Drinking a diet and listening to NPR.

Tim Arnold enjoying his creation.

All photographs are copyright and property of Kmuzu / Cram. All rights reserved. Copyright 2011 Cram / Kmuzu. No replication, duplication, publication or manipulation without first written permission from me the author.

Fleeing to Sin

It is 9:45 AM here is the glorious city of Nephi, Utah. I discovered the only night life in Nephi begins shortly before sunrise when the tractors start up and the seagulls begin screeching. Yes, there are seagulls here. I will try to take a picture of two. They're skittish creatures.

The room here at the Economy Lodge was alright - it was clean and comfortable and owned by and Indian family who lived in room 104. I don't know why I am surprised by this but I am. The only thing that concerned me was the shampoo which comes in this little tiny packet marked only "Made in India", with no ingredients. There was no slit in the top so you had rip it open with your teeth, inevitably squirting a tiny amount in your mouth. Oh course, my brain has now worked over the consequences of this a million times.

So, I am heading out now. Maybe taking some pictures on the way back, maybe just hooking up some Elvis and just zipping through Utah like a sober version of  Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

***UPDATE*** - The pain has finally caught up with me. It hit around ten miles out of Nephi. My leg just caught on fire and right arm went numb. Neck and back locked up. I am home now. Got some good meds in me and crashing on the sofa. I will post a full Utah account a little later perhaps .. 

Great Raod Trip

The Mighty Kmuzu woke up this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. I've decided to escape the oppressive, infernal heat of Vegas and take a day trip up to the groovy parts of Utah.

I have three goals in mind -

First is to visit Cove Fort near Cedar City. Then a short distance north to Sulphurdale and then a jog to the petroglyph walls of Rochester Rock Art.

Leaving early so as to not get stuck in the heat.

Wish me luck .. although it is just Utah after all.



View Kmuzu Road Trip in a larger map

UPDATE **** Well, since we now live in a totally dispensable economy, no one carries a charger for my year and 1/2 old cell phone (Pantech) . And because I don't want to try to pick up a charger on the way up for a now dead phone - I have to wait until the AT&T store opens up. So maybe I will take a nap.

One more thing - ever notice how many movies have guns in them? I think guns are the new cigarette.

UPDATE 2 **** well went to two of the spots I wanted to go to - but got lost and ended up far north in Nephi. So, instead of trying to make my way back - I just got a room. The pain started coming back to me fairly bad .. So, I think I will take a nap and maybe post some pictures later on tonight.

It's Over Update

Not EIMB, the school year is over. Las Vegas just went back to a nine month schedule so now is the start of summer vacation. Already the temperature here is going to break 100, that's almost 40 degrees Celsius for those who live in rational countries.

I am trying to keep the garden alive under these conditions. So far, I've lost around five plants and three are not looking so good. However the tomatoes are loving the sun and growing like weeds.

You may have noticed that some ad-banners have been added to EIMB. It's not been much of a success, but that's okay. I'm doing it more for experimentation than anything else. Anyone who claims they can teach you to make millions from the web is just lying.

I had a friend who was desperate for money. His family was in dire financial straights. So, he goes to this seminar, where for just six hundred dollars and fifty dollars a month, they'll teach you how to sell their merchandise on the Internet. He ended up losing all his money, when the company declared bankruptcy eight months later.

Gather round my loyal EIMB citizens. Questions you should ask yourself if someone claims they can make you rich.

1. Why do they need you? If the business is making so much money then why involve you in the process? What do you bring to the table other than your life savings?
2. If the business is making so much money then why do they need to sell the idea, book, DVD, etc ..?
3. If they want money then don't walk away, run away.
4. Cash is King. Don't do any work until the check is in the bank. Actually makes sure the bank clears the check.

I've worked for several millionaires and one billionaire and I can tell you without exception that rich people hate other people making money. Rich people don't want you to be rich. They like you poor and desperate.

Many times the services these type of companies charge outrageous fees for, you can do for free. For instance, Google offers Blogger - blogging service for free. That's right - EIMB empire runs on a budget of around thirty bucks a year, most of that going to maintain the web address.

Here is my (uneducated) financial advice. Put your money in a too-big-to-fail bank, preferably in a CD or savings account. If you're going to invest in the stock market, purchase a no-load mutual fund. And don't get caught up in this Gold Standard scam. It's fine to have a few gold coins on hand, just in case, but no more than a thousand dollars.

I want you to prosper my loyal EIMB citizens - so that you may continue to click on my little advertisements. Maybe one day I will earn the minimum ten dollars necessary to get a check from Google.




Disclosure - I have absolutely no knowledge on how to invest money - NONE. If you want to know what to do with your money ask your bank, find a good, qualified financial investor or accountant. All I'm saying is be conservative with your money.

Waiting for the Rap .. Rap .. Rapture.

Screen shot of Family Radio (2:40 PM PST)

***UPDATE***  - it is now 6:00 PM central time and well, there's nothing happening here yet in Las Vegas .. not earthquakes or solar blasts or tornadoes - it's not even that hot or windy .. think I will go out to the garden and see if that damn bird is hanging around.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About 2:40 PM here in Las Vegas, Nevada and not even a little shaking or quaking. Now you would think that Vegas would be the first on the "hit" list with the Almighty, but the casinos are still up an running. Slot players are still frivolously pushing dem buttons and the buffets are still crowed.

I was at least hoping that an undead, floating Elvis would appear and do one last song. "Love me Tender" or "A Little Less Conversation." So, far even the Elvis impersonators are still in bed.



There was a volcano in Iceland. But there always is a volcano in Iceland .. Iceland is a volcano. Some young Spaniards are angry at something, but then again young Spaniards are always angry at something or another. Actually, its been a relatively quiet day on Planet Earth - knock on wood.

What does this mean for those who have given all their money to this church in anticipation of the Rapture? Well, I think you fell victim for the oldest trick in the book. To any problem always find where the money is.

As for me, I'm going to take a nap with a helmet on. You can never be too safe from a potential undead sinner scrambling up from the grave looking for brains. And then maybe a trip to Trader Joe's.

Huffington Post's ----> Live Rapture Watch
Family Radio - step back ----> We Make Money for Nothing - site might be down as owners pack up for small Caribbean island without extradition.

Vegas: Lost and Found

Yesterday, I took a Sunday drive; thought I would buy a used book to read for this infusion of Tysabri I have today. Turns out that Unicorn Used Books - now known as Book Magician is closed on Sunday, but that didn't stop me from from taking some pictures and getting myself into a productively grumpy mood. As you drive around Vegas, some things become abundantly clear about the state of the city.

Luxor Hotel - Las Vegas

Land of Ginger

Nothing says class and prestige like pasting a giant poster of Carrot Top to the side of your hotel. This is the new big thing in five star, luxury hotels. Really, I heard the Waldorf=Astoria in New York is pasting a cartoon picture of an angry Statue of Liberty being pooped on by a giant pigeon.

Elvis is not here

Is this the kind of building Elvis would be in the building? Oh come one - this is NOT Elvis' style .. The Dubai owned Aria Resort and Casino is not the kind of place Elvis would've rolled into with his land yacht Cadillac. I have nothing against the Aria. It is a beautiful hotel ..  top notch but way too stuffy and assuming to be Elvis' thang.

Aria Hotel - Elvis Cirque

 The Rio Deal

I was there at almost the beginning of the Rio Suite Hotel & Casino. I was hired by Don Marrandino and Tony Marnell. Tony Marnell is an architect and casino owner, who designed many of Las Vegas' most iconic casinos (more on that later) and there was a lot more to the Rio's design than meets the eye.

Rio's Older Tower

The old tower (20 stories) has a quarter red circle against a blue background. This represents the sun and the sky of Rio de Janerio. The newer tower (40 stories) also has a symbolic design. The middle light blue and the two curving red bars represent the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio.

Rio's Newer Tower

I'm not going to get into why a symbolic figure of Christ is on a casino .. you would have to ask Mr. Marnell (I have my own suspicion) however it's particularly ironic that the new owners Harrah's would plaster a giant portrait of Penn and Teller, well know magicians and atheists over the symbol of Jesus.


MCA Away

Below are pictures of the old Marnell Corrao Associates. Like I said, I worked for Tony Marnell many years ago at the Rio. I never met Corrao, although I did get within three feet of his MiG-17 fighter jet in a hanger in Ontario, California.

Marnell Corrao Associates

Many of the most famous and iconic casinos and resorts were designed in that building: Bellagio, The Mirage, The Excalibur, Caesar's Palace, the Forum Shops and the Rio. I remember this office very well. It was designed like a mini-kingdom. In the middle was Tony Marnell's office which represented the castle and then in a circle around that office were all the fiefdoms - architecture, drafting, interior design, project management .. It was intimidating, especially for the poor vendors and subcontractors. But it worked .. just look at the results.

Now it's closed and I think this reflects the condition Las Vegas is in. I won't go into it in full detail in this post but Vegas has gone through four major transitions: The Rat Pack, Bill Bennett's Quarter Queens, Wynn Dynasty and now what I call -- JDGS: Just Don't Give a Shit.

JDGS

In the boom of the 90's anyone could make money at gambling, even Trump. You really didn't need much of an understanding of gambling or odds. That's when all these corporations flooded in and purchased Las Vegas. The last group were a bunch of investors from Dubai. What the hell do a bunch of Muslim business men know about gambling. No offense to Muslims - honorable religion but they don't gamble or borrow money.

And then it all crashed down and now we have giant plastic posters of ginger comedians plastered on the side of our once luxurious hotel.

So that is that .. have to go to the hospital now .. Next .. the original sushi place.

My first sushi experience in the late 80's

Copyright 2011 - Cram / Kmuzu All rights reserved - No pictures or content may by copied, posted, modified or published without prior written permission from me. Please just drop me an email, I'm very accomodating

HOA and The View

Copyright - The View

A very talented reporter, Andrew Taylor interviewed me last week on an EIMB post I wrote concerning HOA's and the death to originality in Las Vegas.

The View is a community-based newspaper that is published in conjunction with Las Vegas' main newspaper, The Review Journal.

Thank you Andrew for interviewing me and writing such an excellent story. And thank you very much for linking my website. I shall make you a duke in the EIMB empire.

Read the Article Here ---> The View
Read the original EIMB post here ----> Land of the HOA

Old Gamers Never Die

I'm an old gamer. So old in fact, I was there at the very start of video and computer games. I played Pong and Space Wars in the pinball arcades. I owned an Apple IIe, an Atari 2600, and even a cherry red Famicom.

It's kind of sad that the history of video game development in Las Vegas has mostly been forgotten. Hardly anyone now-a-days realizes that at least two major video game genres originated in Las Vegas. The inklings of modern day FPS (First Person Shooters) and RTS (Real-Time Strategies) were developed in Las Vegas and I make the argument that flight simulators got their start here with an old PC game called DragonStrike.

Back in the early 80's there were three high schools in Las Vegas that had advanced computer programming and math labs: Bonanza, Clark and Western. It started around 1980 before there were any PC's in schools. I call it the "Univac Wars". Students from each high school spent hours trying to hack into the school district's Univac system and take down the other school's access. A few student were also creating ascii-text games on the system.

There was no real sense of security back then. You have to remember enthusiasm for computers in the 80's was about the same as it is now for say, ham radios. No one cared .. and unlike today, the math teachers who ran the labs had almost free rein to do whatever they wanted. It was beautiful.

Mr. V who ran Bonanza's computer lab and taught calculus was a disgruntled Vietnam vet. He basically let us do whatever we wanted, unless it was illegal with the computers. Mr. V even had his own school club. The club met once a year for the school picture and everyone was vice president unless they didn't want to be. It was called the Bonanza Sophistic and Rhetoric Society - The BSeRS. The BSeRS even had a Homecoming float. It was an green painted plank with brown balloons stacked in a pile with a student wearing bull horns sitting on top of the balloons.

If you're wondering where all the creativity and engineering talent has gone, then look no further than the security and procedural mandates of schools. When a kid can get expelled for installing a second OS - Linux or detention for downloading Firefox onto a school computer, you know the days of innovation are over.

In 1982, Bonanza got it's first Apple II and it had one program on it called Lemonade Stand. It wasn't long before all of the dudes had the latest in Apple games like: Wolfenstien, Apple Maniacs and Choplifter. There was also a huge desire to program your own game and out do each other in game play and sophistication.

These programmers and math geeks from these three high schools eventually combined together to form Westwood Associates.

More on Westwood in the next post.

Interesting look at the history of games
Play some of those classic games - The Vault

Beyond the land of HOA's

I'm a third generation Las Vegan. My parents met each other at Las Vegas High School (Wildcats). Back in the 60's and 70's if you got three hundred meters outside of the Strip, Vegas was really just a strange kind of cowboy town. There were lots of ranch-style houses, dusty mobile homes and cynderblock castles.

Sure there were the European and East Coast style mansions in Rancho Circle and Scotch-80's. But these were owned by casino executives from Chicago and Detroit. Everywhere else Las Vegas looked a lot like Tucson, St. George or Phoenix.

Then in the mid-80's the Snowbirds moved in. These were retirees from northern states who wanted to escape the cold, the gloom and the children. They nested in great gated communities, with Wackenhut guard stations and expansive golf courses. Their kingdoms ruled by HOA committees. Snowbirds represented the slow death of Las Vegas.

 Now all you see is cookie-cutter houses that all look the same with the same plants and the same colors, but if you look hard enough in the backwoods of Vegas you can still spot some of the unique characters that still inhabit this town.

Another rock pile idol

Saguaro cactus made from telephone poles

A flying trapeze in someone's backyard.

Trivia- In the song "Mickey" by Tony Basil, the cheerleader uniform she is wearing is from  Las Vegas High School. She attended LVHS and was a cheerleader.

2010-2011 Copyright Cram, Kmuzu - No reproduction or publication or modification without my written consent. If you want to use any of the picture just send me an email, I'm pretty accommodating.

Drew Carey's Improv-A-Ganza

As many of you know one of my pastimes is improv. There's a local improv group here in Las Vegas and they have a small show every Monday night at the Onxy Theater. The whole production called Improv-Vegas is run by a really cool chick name Amy Pittle.

There are quite a few really good improv-troops in Vegas. My favorites are Executive Monkeys and The Apple Sisters.  Most of these actors were from Second City.

Today, I saw on TBS a commercial for a new improv show hosted by Drew Carey (Who's Line is it Anyway) called Improv-A-Ganza on the Game Show Network. It looks like a lot of the old members from WLITA are back. Except for Wayne Brady .. I'm not seeing any clips of him - maybe Wayne's too big for improv.

Drew Carey has lost a lot of weight almost didn't recognize him and so has Kathy Kinney who played Mimi Bobeck on the Drew Carey Show and is also one of the improv actors.

Improv-A-Ganza is showing weeknights 8 & 11pm - Starting this Monday, April 11th on the GSN



Improv-A-Ganza Youtube Page