Motivating Cats

Okay, I'm driving my daughter to school and this enormously fat, grey cat bounds across the street, in front of my bumper and then to the sidewalk on the other side. Of course I immediately stop and the cat is fine. But when I start up again the cat starts running beside me. If I slow down the cat slows down; If I speed up the cat speeds up ... So, I stop and the cat stops - just sitting there.

I need to be clear, the cat is on the sidewalk - at least two meters to the side and about four meters in front of my car. I am in no way chasing the cat. But I gotta get my kid to school - so I'm like screw it and speed the car up to about 15 mph and the cat takes off in front. And I figure the cat needs exercise and I need to get to get going; so it's kind of win / win right?

We (the cat and I) get to an intersection and I think the cat is going to take a hard right and go up the other street - nope - the cat crosses the street and continues running. ... block and block after block. For about 3/4 of a mile.

Let me stress that I am NOT chasing the cat .. I was kind of motivating the cat .. sorta .. did I mention the cat was really fat. So slowly the cat is losing ground to the car until finally it just stops - okay collapses on the sidewalk.

I'm not telling you this as some sort of confession. I don't feel guilty (okay I feel a little guilty and a bit shameful) .. I am telling you this because if for some reason in the middle of the night, if I am attacked by some mysterious creature and all the authorities find of me is bloody scraps .. y'all know who the real culprit is ..

Shut up - Listen and be Creative

Had a parent/teacher conference for my daughter who is in 5th grade. Sitting there, I was transported back to when I was in elementary school. I never fit in. I couldn't sit, listen or follow instructions. My brain has always been in constant rebellion. Fortunately, it's not a tool user and can't escape the confines of my skull. Why is it that for 12 years you're trained to be quiet and do exactly what you're told and then on the last day at graduation, they tell you to be independent and creative?

Snuggie is not a good fit

I was in the bathroom. It seems at my age that I spend a lot more time in there than I like. Anyway, I was in the bathroom reading the latest addition of Bed Bath & Beyond - We Love College. Why I was reading this is another story - one I will not tell.

I came across this advertisement for Snuggie. Remember Suggie? It was an infomercial rage a few years ago. The Snuggie is basically a fleece hospital gown.

This ad has some disturbing elements. Am I wrong but doesn't XXL stand for double extra-large? Is this an appropriate gift to give a female graduate? What exactly is the gift giver saying about the giftee?

Furthermore, what kind graduation gift is a Sunggie in the first place? As you can see in the ad, graduations happen at the beginning of summer, way too hot for the Snuggie.  I mean is it like: "Here's a Snuggie my Honey Pie. It's an XXL so it's sure to fit and you can use it oh - eight months from now."

"Great Dad; this is better than a car or a laptop could ever be."

I also noticed that apparently you're supposed to wear your underwear when going out in a Snuggie. I don't think this is advisable especially as you can plainly see in the picture the back is completely exposed. I can't stress enough that wearing a thong would be just as bad; maybe even a little worse.

To wrap this up - Snuggies are bad graduations gifts. It's better just to give cash. Everyone loves and appreciates cash. Snuggies are just bad gifts for any occasion - other than Christmas in Minnesota. Next, if you do wear a Snuggie, it is advisable to wear at least pajama bottoms underneath. Please don't go outside the house in your Snuggie. The Snuggie is not meant for public display.

I do not own the rights to the picture shown in this post. I am using this picture under the "Fair Use" copyright law.