Friday, February 17, 2012
God Question
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atheists,
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Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Typical French Wine
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comic,
cork,
French,
French wine,
funny cartoon,
humor,
je me rends,
satire,
surrender,
wine
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentine Warning
I shall give unto you a Valentine **Warning**. Be extremely careful of Lawn Gnomes - especially this time of year. I can hear y'all saying, "Garden Gnomes - dem cute little statues me Nan puts in da garden?"
YES! .. like many things we do in the modern world, we have no idea of their roots. And Garden Gnomes are the most dangerous and ancient of them all. Before the great Roman Emperor Constantine established the Catholic Church, Romans worshiped a terrible God named Priapus. He was the god of fertility. More to the point, he was the act of fertilization.
To the Romans, sex was all the same - humans, animals, plants .. even gods and Priapus was over it all baby .. yea .. So down and dirty were the Romans about this god, I could only find one picture suitable to post .. and that is from the waste up. I can hear you asking, "Well, that's all fine and good, but where do the lawn gnomes come in?" According to Brian Sewell, famed British art critic and historian .. lawn gnomes were originally little statues of Priapus, that pagans put in their garden to increase fertility.
At night the little god become very lascivious and would go around and start .. doing the "wild thang" with .. well .. everything .. remember the Romans did not see a difference .. Now I have to be careful here .. this is the dangerous part .. When a female was a certain age and a virgin, she was encouraged to go at night and see the gnome. The little creature, who was the embodiment of Priapus wore a special hat that was pointed at the top. Now I will go no further, but I think it might now become evident why lawn gnomes have red hats ..
So BEWARE!! It's all fine a well for our Nannas to have these creatures in their gardens .. but not all of us should partake in this ancient magic .. even if we do like a good crop of cucumbers ...
YES! .. like many things we do in the modern world, we have no idea of their roots. And Garden Gnomes are the most dangerous and ancient of them all. Before the great Roman Emperor Constantine established the Catholic Church, Romans worshiped a terrible God named Priapus. He was the god of fertility. More to the point, he was the act of fertilization.
To the Romans, sex was all the same - humans, animals, plants .. even gods and Priapus was over it all baby .. yea .. So down and dirty were the Romans about this god, I could only find one picture suitable to post .. and that is from the waste up. I can hear you asking, "Well, that's all fine and good, but where do the lawn gnomes come in?" According to Brian Sewell, famed British art critic and historian .. lawn gnomes were originally little statues of Priapus, that pagans put in their garden to increase fertility.
At night the little god become very lascivious and would go around and start .. doing the "wild thang" with .. well .. everything .. remember the Romans did not see a difference .. Now I have to be careful here .. this is the dangerous part .. When a female was a certain age and a virgin, she was encouraged to go at night and see the gnome. The little creature, who was the embodiment of Priapus wore a special hat that was pointed at the top. Now I will go no further, but I think it might now become evident why lawn gnomes have red hats ..
So BEWARE!! It's all fine a well for our Nannas to have these creatures in their gardens .. but not all of us should partake in this ancient magic .. even if we do like a good crop of cucumbers ...
Labels:
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Valentine,
Valentine's Day,
virgin,
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Happy Valentines Day
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cartoon,
Chocolate,
comic,
death star,
funny,
humor,
laugh,
M and M,
mars,
star wars,
Tie Fighter,
Valentine,
Valentine's Day,
XWing
Monday, February 13, 2012
Giorgio Theory
I'm not necessarily saying that aliens were behind this,
but aliens were behind this.
Giorgio A. Tsoukalo Bio
Labels:
aliens,
ancient aliens,
conspiracy theories,
craft,
et,
Giorgio,
Giorgio A. Tsoukalo,
grays,
History Channel,
space
Friday, February 10, 2012
Cargo Cults and us.
Lately
I've been fascinated with Cargo Cults. During WWII, American and
British military established airfields on Pacific islands where
primitive natives tribes lived. The tribes had no knowledge of
manufacturing and saw these wondrous giant birds that landed on their
island and delivered gifts of food and technology. When the war ended,
the troops left and so did the gifts. Years later, anthropologist
discovered that some of these tribes had built elaborate airfields out
of bamboo and coconuts to entice the gods back again. You can still see
these bamboo control towers and hangers today.
I often wonder
if we as Americans live in a sort of Cargo Cult. That what is happening
around us is more sophisticated than we can understand. And that we
assume certain things are true just by observation and perception. In
fact, all of it is an intentional misinterpretation of reality.
More on Cargo Cults - John Frum
Labels:
airport,
Britain,
cargo cults,
cults,
giant birds,
Japan,
navy,
ocean,
Pacific,
Pacific Islands,
religion,
ships,
society,
strange,
United States,
weird,
World War,
WWII
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Motivating Cats
Okay,
I'm driving my daughter to school and this enormously fat, grey cat
bounds across the street, in front of my bumper and then to the sidewalk
on the other side. Of course I immediately stop and the cat is fine.
But when I start up again the cat starts running beside me. If I slow
down the cat slows down; If I speed up the cat speeds up ... So, I stop
and the cat stops - just sitting there.
I
need to be clear, the cat is on the sidewalk - at least two meters to
the side and about four meters in front of my car. I am in no way
chasing the cat. But I gotta get my kid to school - so I'm like screw it
and speed the car up to about 15 mph and the cat takes off in front.
And I figure the cat needs exercise and I need to get to get going; so
it's kind of win / win right?
We (the cat and I) get to an
intersection and I think the cat is going to take a hard right and go up
the other street - nope - the cat crosses the street and continues
running. ... block and block after block. For about 3/4 of a mile.
Let me stress that I am NOT chasing the cat .. I was kind of motivating
the cat .. sorta .. did I mention the cat was really fat. So slowly the
cat is losing ground to the car until finally it just stops - okay
collapses on the sidewalk.
I'm not telling you this as some
sort of confession. I don't feel guilty (okay I feel a little guilty and
a bit shameful) .. I am telling you this because if for some reason in
the middle of the night, if I am attacked by some mysterious creature
and all the authorities find of me is bloody scraps .. y'all know who
the real culprit is ..
Labels:
bloody scraps,
cat,
cat story,
confession,
funny,
funny story,
grey cat,
humor,
humorous story,
las vegas,
motivation,
nevada,
running,
school,
sidewalk
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Elvis is Back in the Blog
Well, had a bad round with MS over the winter break .. but feeling better .. so look for more post on the great EiMB network soon .. like tomorrow .. really.
Labels:
EIMB,
elvis,
elvis in my basement,
MS,
multiple sclerosis,
winter break
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